Charlotte Bennett

Rewrite a landing page hero and test it with a 5-second check

Scores your above-the-fold copy with a five-second clarity test, writes three rewrites from different angles, and holds them to the same test.

At a glance

Best for: Founders and marketers whose landing page gets traffic but not sign-ups, and who suspect the headline says nothing specific.
Tested on: Claude · Opus 5.5
You fill in: current_herowhat_it_doesvisitorgoal
You get: Step 1: Your current hero What is this? Unclear. "Freelance finance" could be invoicing, banking or accounting. Who is it for? Freelancers, broadly.… (full result below)

Prompt

Here is the hero section of my landing page (headline, subheadline, button text, and anything else above the fold):

{{current_hero}}

What the product actually does, in plain words: {{what_it_does}}
Who lands on it: {{visitor}}
What I want them to do: {{goal}}

Step 1: Clarity check on my current version. Pretend you are that visitor with 5 seconds. Answer in one line each: What is this? Who is it for? What do I get? What do I click? Then score clarity 1-10 and name the single biggest problem.

Step 2: Write 3 rewrites, each taking a different approach: outcome-led, problem-led and mechanism-led. For each give a headline (max 10 words), subheadline (max 25 words), button text (2-4 words), and one line of proof to place near the button, using only proof that's already on my page.

Step 3: Run the same 5-second check on each rewrite and score it. Be as strict with your own versions as with mine.

Step 4: Recommend one and tell me what to A/B test it against.

Fill in

{{current_hero}}: Your current above-the-fold copy, pasted as-ise.g. Headline: The future of freelance finance is here
{{what_it_does}}: Plain description of what the product doese.g. Tells freelancers how much of each client payment to set aside for taxes
{{visitor}}: Who arrives and from wheree.g. freelance designers and developers coming from a Google search
{{goal}}: The one action you wante.g. start the free 14-day trial

Example input

current_hero:
Headline: The future of freelance finance is here
Subheadline: Ledgerly harnesses AI to streamline your workflow and empower you to focus on what matters most.
Button: Get started
Below button: Trusted by 2,000+ freelancers · Bank-level security · Integrates with Stripe, PayPal and Wise

what_it_does: Connects to your Stripe, PayPal and Wise accounts. Every time a client pays you, it tells you how much to move to a tax savings account, based on your federal and state estimates. Sends reminders before quarterly estimated tax deadlines.
visitor: freelance designers and developers arriving from a Google search for "how much to set aside for taxes freelance"
goal: start the free 14-day trial

2.1k0

Generated Outputs (1)

3 hours ago

Claude

Opus 5.5

3 hours ago

Generated Output

Step 1: Your current hero

• What is this? Unclear. "Freelance finance" could be invoicing, banking or accounting.

• Who is it for? Freelancers, broadly.

• What do I get? Nothing specific. "Streamline your workflow" isn't a benefit.

• What do I click? "Get started," but started on what?

Clarity: 2/10. Biggest problem: the visitor searched for how much to set aside for taxes, and nothing above the fold mentions taxes.

Step 2: Rewrites

A. Outcome-led

• Headline: Always know how much to save for taxes

• Subheadline: Every time a client pays you, Ledgerly tells you how much to move to your tax account, based on your federal and state estimates.

• Button: Start free trial

• Proof: Connects to Stripe, PayPal and Wise · Trusted by 2,000+ freelancers

B. Problem-led

• Headline: No more guessing what you'll owe in taxes

• Subheadline: Ledgerly watches your Stripe, PayPal and Wise payments, tells you what to set aside from each, and reminds you before quarterly deadlines.

• Button: Start 14-day trial

• Proof: Trusted by 2,000+ freelancers · Bank-level security

C. Mechanism-led

• Headline: Get paid, see exactly what to set aside

• Subheadline: Connect Stripe, PayPal or Wise. After each client payment, Ledgerly shows the amount to move for taxes and reminds you before quarterly deadlines.

• Button: Start free trial

• Proof: Bank-level security (it sits next to a button that asks people to connect financial accounts)

Step 3: Five-second check on the rewrites

• A: What: a tax-savings calculator. Who: people paid by clients. Get: the amount to save. Click: obvious. 8/10. Loses a point for not saying "freelancer" and for leaving out the deadline reminders.

• B: The headline matches the searcher's worry closely, but on its own it could be an accountant or tax-prep service; the subheadline has to rescue it. 7/10.

• C: Most concrete about how it works, but "set aside" without "for taxes" in the headline makes the visitor read on to understand it. 7/10.

Step 4: Recommendation
Go with A. It answers the exact search in the headline and gets all four questions right in the first two lines. A/B test it against B, keeping the button and proof identical so the only variable is outcome versus worry framing. If you need a baseline, run your current hero as a control for one week, but don't let a 2/10 page keep half your traffic for long.

Why it works

The four five-second questions (what, who, what do I get, what do I click) are a quick, repeatable test that exposes vague copy immediately. Supplying what the product does in plain words is essential: otherwise the model rewrites buzzwords into different buzzwords. Forcing three distinct approaches gives you real options instead of three synonyms. "Be as strict with your own versions" makes the model score its rewrites honestly rather than awarding itself 10/10, and restricting proof to what's already on the page keeps it from inventing testimonials.

When not to use it

A model pretending to be a visitor is not user research. Use this to get better candidates, then test them with real visitors or a proper A/B test. If your page has deeper problems (wrong traffic, weak offer, broken sign-up flow), a better headline won't fix them. Skip it for brand-led pages where clarity isn't the main goal.

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